


Love in the Time

by stendahls



Category: Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: M/M, Pining, a little angsty, set in season 4
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-24
Updated: 2020-05-24
Packaged: 2021-03-02 17:27:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,256
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24360565
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/stendahls/pseuds/stendahls
Summary: Jack knows that The Doctor can't stand to be around a fixed point in time, but he'll be damned if that's going to stop him from trying.
Relationships: The Doctor/Jack Harkness
Kudos: 13





	Love in the Time

Jack leaned back against the railing as the TARDIS thrummed and hummed around him. He watched as The Doctor busied himself at the control panel, checking meters and flipping switches. Jack briefly wondered if he was just making half of it up to ignore the awkward silence between them. He wouldn’t put it past him, how many times did the same button really need to be pressed? They weren’t even moving. The TARDIS was parked back at Cardiff to recharge its battery, and Jack had come running the second he heard it. He was glad it hadn’t tried to run away from him again, although judging by the look on The Doctor’s face, it was apparently a tragedy that it didn’t. Things had remained civil, though. The Doctor put on his cheery attitude and introduced Jack to Donna. Jack loved her. She was meaner than any companion he’d had before, and watching the great and powerful Time Lord look like a kicked puppy when she scolded him was like heaven on earth.

But Donna wasn’t there right then. She had gone to bed, and with her went The Doctor’s patience. It was just the two of them, although Jack was tempted to count the tension in the air as a third person, as it was so present he wouldn’t be surprised if it formed its own consciousness. That wouldn’t be the first time he had seen something like that happen. He sighed, his own patience marching upstairs to join Donna in the guest bedroom, and tapped his hands loudly on the railing. “So...are you gonna talk to me? Or are you just going to keep passive aggressively fiddling with the control panel?”

The Doctor looked insulted, “I’m not being passive aggressive!”

“What are you doing then?”

“Im...calibrating.”

Jack raised an eyebrow. “Calibrating..?”

The Doctor turned away, presumably to hide his embarrassment, and mumbled, “You know...space things.”

Jack couldn’t help but laugh at that. He got a small sense of satisfaction from knowing he was right, but that also meant The Doctor actually was ignoring him, which stung just a bit. Well, more than a bit. It stung a lot. “You can drop the act, we’re parked, and I’m not some impressionable young Earth girl you can wow with vaguely sci-fi related statements.” The Doctor started to argue, but he was interrupted, “Come on, you know you have a type.” He could have elaborated, could have pointed out that most likely the reason he chose those girls as his companions was so they wouldn’t see through all the bullshit he was constantly spewing, but that seemed like a secret that was already out in the open, so he didn’t bother.

The Doctor grumbled something, probably an insult, and went back to squinting at a monitor. 

Jack walked over to him, put his hand on The Doctor’s shoulder, and waved his other hand in front of his face. “Hello! I would like you to speak to me now!” He spoke like he was talking to a toddler, which he knew would get some kind of response, since it was a surefire way to piss the other man off. 

The Doctor shrugged him off and swatted away his hand. “What is there to talk about?” Lots. There was lots to talk about, and he knew it. It was visible from the look on his face, like he was barely restraining himself from spilling out a million words all at once. 

The human crossed his arms, “You and me.” That was enough to scare the Time Lord off, as he rolled his eyes and walked away, heading towards the stairs to go God knows where. Jack grabbed his hand, his kindness wearing dangerously thin. “Don’t run away from me! You can’t keep running from everything that bothers you!”

“I can damn well try!” The Doctor yelled, loudly. Guilt flooded his features just as quickly as the anger had. He looked down to where Jack was still holding his hand, “I’m sorry. I don’t know what you want me to say.”

Jack looked to their hands as well. “I don’t know either.” He leaned his head down enough to catch The Doctor’s gaze, speaking only when he had moved so they were eye to eye again. “You know how I feel about you, and I know you feel the same way about me. Doctor I-”

He was cut off by The Doctor, “Please. Please don’t say you love me. I’m begging you, just...don’t.” He looked broken. Sadness wasn’t a word that did it justice. He looked empty, so broken up by centuries of hurt that he was barely a person anymore. Jack wanted to make him whole. The Doctor chuckled, but it was a sarcastic one, dripping with pain. “You know, you’d think being worshipped like a god would feel great, but it just makes me hollow.” He squeezed Jack’s hand gently, affectionate even in sadness. “That’s what you do, Jack. You make me feel hollow.” 

Jack swallowed the lump that was building in his throat. He knew exactly what he meant, because he felt it too. The repulsion between a fixed point in time and one of its lords tore through him every time they met. It felt like every cell in his body was rejecting him, and it was, their existences were an affront to each other. It went further than just emotions. It was primal, existential, inescapable. Jack didn’t need to verbalize that. It was yet another secret that was never kept. He stepped forward, tightly wrapping The Doctor in a hug. He hugged back. It wasn’t the usual kind of embrace he got, those were usually only given in high adrenaline moments, and usually with a running leap. This was soft, slow. Jack felt their chests move as they breathed against one another. Deep down, he felt the hollow, nesting in the pit of his stomach, spreading through his bones. But on top of that, oh God, on top of it. On top it was love, so much love. He felt perfection when they touched, and he didn’t even have to ask, or say it aloud, because it was so perfect he knew The Doctor felt exactly the same. The moment wouldn’t even be happening if he didn’t.

The Doctor gently played with Jack’s hair. “I’m a hypocrite. I can’t help it. I just want to be able to say I love someone without them saying it in return.” He pulled back, just enough for them to look each other in the eyes again. “I’m in love with you Jack. You understand me like nobody else ever has, and maybe ever will. But I am pleading with you, just...don’t say it. If you could ever do me just one favor, please, don’t say it.”

Jack nodded, and leaned forward, giving him a gentle kiss. It lasted for a long moment, neither of them wanted to move. After the kiss was over, he turned, walked to the railing, grabbed his coat, and headed for the door. There were a million things he wanted to say, secrets he wanted to spill, moments he wanted to share. But he wouldn’t, because The Doctor was a hypocrite, and he would give him the world on a platter if he asked for it. He opened the door, turning back before he left. “Hey Doctor…” 

“What?”

“I hate you.” Jack gave a cheesy smile, cherishing the one he got in return. He always loved to bend the rules.


End file.
